BELIEVE. FIGHT. DREAM

Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.
2 Timothy 2:3

You see, I have this vision for my life. I believe it to be a God instilled vision. I see myself as so many things Im not. Of course many of these things I want to be because I feel it will have a huge impact on others. So often I feel its my vision. I feel like I havent let God put bigger dreams in my heart. I feel my lack of surrender leaves this vision lacking in the beauty that he sees for a life like mine...I dont say that as if my life is more special than anyone elses. I fully believe the same is the case for the majority of the Christian world. I get a taste of his goodness yet am not willing to wait for him again. I find ways to take his vision and make it my own and settle. I dont care to be famous or for everyone to adore me(although it wouldnt hurt the ego Ive done a pretty good job of building this far) I just think I dont pray big enough prayers. I dont open myself up to God working in ways unimaginable because I dont feel I deserve unimaginable. The truth is I still feel I have to do something to earn him...I dont..To know him more I believe is a different story. I definitely dont have to perfect but Im rarely even patient. When faced with something hard I dont endure hardship well. I dont keep my eyes focused on the battle and the big picture. I want to, I long to and I cling to hope. In verse 4 of the same passage it says" no one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs" WOW IT HIT ME THERE..We are in a battle and im busy living MY LIFE FOR MY GLORY. Its who Ive always been so it makes sense that even in my desire to live for him my selfish nature takes hold. We are in a war to see Gods kingdom come crashing into earth and the majority of us are to busy making friends with the world to love them. To earn status rather than humble ourselves. When I face a battle I have scripture telling me(james 1, romans 5, 1 peter 1, 2 corinthians 1) that i need to persevere bc it is will build my character and my hope. How often do I even Fight these battles? I often give in in hopes of the next battle and being somehow prepared for it. It starts now. endure hardships like a good solider of Christ Jesus. Fight people. We must fight. We must present ourselves to God as one approved. If we fight for him we already know he has and will continue to fight for us as he always has.
"BUT WE ARE NOT OF THOSE WHO SHRINK BACK AND ARE DESTROYED, BUT OF THOSE WHO BELIEVE AND ARE SAVED" HEBREWS 10:39